Fourteen things I have learnt from cleaning the studio

12 Nov

Back when I was doing my MA, I promised myself that when I finished, I would really clean the studio. It’s not that over the past two and a half years I never tidied it up – just not very much.

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The studio in June

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Wax is waxy

Then I was away for the summer and over the past ten days I have been really trying to get to grips with it, These are some of things I have learnt.

  1. Gravity applies to paint. This means that paint that starts as interesting runnels on a canvas ends up on the floor. It also end up on the tops of shoes.
  2. There is little point in deciding that paint topped shoes will henceforth be painting-shoes; changing shoes before painting seems unnecessary when you start: that is why in the cupboard downstairs there are lots of shoes with paint on them; that is why in the corner of the studio there are  pairs of trainers  which were meant to be painting-shoes
  3. Paint, like dog poo, is attracted to the bottom of shoes; that is why there are little patches of. paint across the floor and down the attic stairs.
  4. Paradoxically, paint can also defy the powers of gravity and can travel horizontally and even vertically; that is why there is paint on the walls.
  5. Glue, resin, insulating foam, varnish and wax all have the same travelling properties as paint, only more so.
  6. Newspaper and tissue paper are among the inanimate object that appear to have a desire to be art; in their case they would like to be a collage on the floor; that is why they take every opportunity to become attached to any paint, glue, resin, wax, insulating foam etc that they can find.
  7. Paint brushes do not improve for soaking for six months particularly if the water or white spirit has evaporated. Maybe they just need longer.
  8. Three tins of red gloss paint is plenty.
  9. Ditto six drawing pads.
  10. Mouldy mugs also have artistic ambitions:   “in their performance, ‘five coffee mugs and half a cheese sandwich’, the six artists allude to the futility of life, yet, at the same time, point to the restorative power of nature.”
  11.  If you find a the top of a paint tube it never matches any of the tubes without tops.
  12. A brush wrapped in clingfoil does not stay usable forever.
  13. You do not find more things after tidying the studio: just different things.
  14. A tidy studio is like a blank sheet of paper – it is difficult to get started on anything; that is why it is not worth getting it completely tidy

One thing I have yet to learn:

whether  you can tip brush restorer down the sink. The label on the bottle says ‘do not put it in plastic containers’: presumably it dissolves them.The waste pipes are plastic and I have visions of painty brush restorer cascading through the house a bit like the acid in the bath scene in Breaking Bad.

Oh well, maybe it will do the brushes some good to stay soaking for a few more months!

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A few more months should do it

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Not perfect but better

One Response to “Fourteen things I have learnt from cleaning the studio”

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  1. Fourteen things I have learnt from cleaning the studio | VINTAGE STUDENT - November 13, 2015

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